Fantasy Football: The Clueless Girl’s Saga



Credit: Knighten 2011

True Life: This picture was my first exposure to the anatomy of a football team.

I know I’m not alone. None of this “I’m sure I’m not the only one who…” business; bitch, I am positive I am not the only female who has no idea how to make a fantasy football team, which players are good, or even what any of them are supposed to be doing when they’re on that big patch of grass.

I’m lucky I know there’s supposed to be 11 of them playing on each team at a time; on topic: why 11? Such a random number.

The Basics

Pumpkin Spice Latte not included. Some basic information I gathered to keep us afloat on this not-so-impossible-anymore journey (for now):

  • The actual football season starts early September, changes every year , your league’s draft should be prior
  • If you’re drafting on a computer (Yahoo, ESPN, etc.) everyone should have internet access during draft party time
  • If you’re drafting offline, you’re still going to want internet access, or an extensive cheat sheet pre-vetted and ranked (I’ve done this before, it’s not that terrifying, but I did draft someone who was suspended for domestic violence because I didn’t check him out online prior sooo, not great either)
  • Allow plenty of time for the draft (typical length of a draft is about 2-3 hours, depending on league size)
  • Do some research! Have a wishlist ahead of time, regardless of on or offline drafting
  • Be flexible, some betches may steal your dudes, and shadily subtweeting about it isn’t going to change that

My competitive spirit will not let me be taken down by some dudes with an NFL Game Day subscription. This is the prolific 1st down of 300 yards of knowledge and ass kicking.

What next?

There’s plenty to learn, so take some time to read and absorb each of these topics:

Vocabulary to know
What is a Fantasy Football Constitution?
The little bit that you need to know about your Defense
The Offense – where your research needs to happen


4 thoughts on “Fantasy Football: The Clueless Girl’s Saga

Comments Always Welcome:

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s